I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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