She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Randomize
