she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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