I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I enjoy the company of your penis
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
