yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize