I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
