Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Randomize
