You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
She even gives head with a lisp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize