i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
