He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
