Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
