The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
