you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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