yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
