Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
