It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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