I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
