Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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