..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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