She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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