Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
