there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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