His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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