just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Randomize
