hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
it was like having sex with a tree stump
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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