I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize