kristin has been a bad kristin
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
So squirting runs in the family.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
