i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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