you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
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