Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
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