What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
