remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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