Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
