i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
