I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
