Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Found your dick twin last night
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
