I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
