It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
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