Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
