Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
