my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
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I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
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Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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