I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Everclear isn't food dammit
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
