it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
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Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I'm like, not good at living.
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There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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