ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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