Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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