I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Randomize
