Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
