In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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