do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
