Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
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