So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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