You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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