Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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