apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
