Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I'm at about main and main street
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
