I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
