I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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