dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
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He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
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THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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