i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
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Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
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Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
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