i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
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