i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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