i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
